Hey, we’re trying to work here. Whether you and you significant other are flirting or fighting, save it for later. Get together with friends after work, or tell them about your dreams another time. Please.
Um, hey, where are our random work breaks? Please get back to your desk and get to work like we are.
After we walk by your desk, we have to check the bottoms of our shoes for stickies and, ew, whatever. Hope your mind and work aren’t as disgusting and chaotic as your desk.
Do you know how may important emails we have to dig through every day? Don’t you have to too? It may be hilarious/adorable/shocking to you, but it’s spam to us.
Please stop complaining. You’re dragging us all down. We’re grown-ups, and we have jobs that aren’t always super-duper or easy. Please suck it up and stop whining.
Great verb, and it describes what we wish you’d stop doing during meetings that are already too long. Urban Dictionary says that to spraff is “to carry on talking about an unnecessary topic for a lengthened space of time.”
Um, if you’re saying that about them, what are you telling them about me? You’re making us nervous. Stop.
Ah, yes, your time is more valuable than ours. Well, that’s the message we get from your constant tardiness. We’re here; where are you? Insult much?
We’re friends, sure, but work friends, and there are boundaries that keep things from getting weird. Why do you keep crossing them? There’s no escaping awkward here in the workplace.
Yes. You’re the best thing since the invention of modesty. See what I did there? Go. Away.
It’s safe to assume that most days we’re all exemplary human beings. Ahem. But if you’re doing any of the things above at work, you might consider stopping before a coworker starts ignoring you.