You already have a full-time job. And here’s another full-time job — kids.
Let’s face it: being a working parent is tough. Between making sure your kids get to school and do their homework and having to respond to instant messages from your boss at all hours, you’ve got enough to do. You might thrive on this fast-paced energy. Or it might drive you insane. One thing’s for sure — people who aren’t working parents simply don’t get it.
1. You are organized like a crazy person
You schedule, schedule, schedule. You know exactly where everyone is at all times. You have your morning routine down to a freakin’ science. You make lunches, drop kids off, pick kids up, and arrive at work right on time. Why? Because if you didn’t everything would fall apart.
2. You are (sometimes) jealous of all your friends who don’t have kids
You go on Facebook (while a toddler is pulling on your hair or your other arm is occupied by a baby) and see people who are excited for the weekend. What was that like? You know your life was that at one point, but when? All the workweek ending means is that you have to manage your children all day.
3. You value sleep more than anything
Eight uninterrupted hours of sleep. Are there any more beautiful words in the English language? No someone having nightmares, no “I don’t want to go bed,” no waking up hungry at three in the morning. Just you, a blanket, and no human alarm clocks.
4. … or maybe you value peace and quiet more than anything
Silence. Lovely, simple silence. Maybe a paperback and a glass of wine. No phones ringing, emails pinging, or kids crying or asking you for something over and over.
5. You start just telling people what to do
You know what needs to be done at home and in the workplace. And then that starts to seep into other parts of your life until you’re telling the clerk at Target how to do his job. Then you realize that you’re in that rare situation where you don’t call the shots.
6. You multitask like a boss
You got good at this because you didn’t have any choice. You schedule a conference call while you pick up toys. You mentally make a grocery list while you’re reading a bedtime story. You’re a world-class juggler.
7. Your house is always a mess
There was a time, long, long ago, when your house was clean. Remember that? Always having enough time after work to do the dishes and vacuum. When there wasn’t a tornado of spilled food, finger paint, and vomit punishing your lovely hardwood floors on a regular basis. But those days are long gone.
8. You’re eating more takeout than you ever have
Who has time for cooking? And besides, there are plenty of nutrients in pizza, right? Wasn’t there a study about that or something? You could swear you saw it somewhere . . .